Kate Winslet / Eminem
October 30, 2004

[COLD OPENING] New Osama Tape


· A lot funnier than the usual "translator" cold openings.

· Lots of great lines.

· Osama's comments about Teresa Heinz Kerry.

· Osama's reference to last week's Ashlee Simpson incident, and Osama's insults toward her.



· None.


Grade: B+



[MONOLOGUE] Kate Winslet proves she's live


· A real monologue with no other people!



· Too bad this couldn't have been a funny monologue as well. This had no laughs at all.


Grade: F



[SKETCH] Rap Night with Chubb Hotty


· Some of the banter between Horatio and Kenan.



· Most of this was awful.

· Horatio once again pulling a Farley by crashing through a breakaway object (a piano, in this sketch's case).



· I think I remember hearing that Horatio attempted to do this character once way back in his first season in 98-99 (I think it was the John Goodman/Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers episode), but it got cut after dress.


Grade: D-



[NEXT WEEK] November 6, 2004: The Best of Tom Hanks



[SKETCH] Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein


· Fred at least gave a committed performance.

· Parnell's goofy facial expressions as Igor had me cracking up.



· The sketch itself was really weak and just centered on lots of lazy stereotypical gay jokes.


Grade: D-



[TV FUNHOUSE] Fun with Real Audio: John McCain


· Bush stumbling in his speech.

· The "Apocalypse Now" reference with McCain dancing in his underwear and punching the mirror.



· A lot of this dragged.


Grade: C-



[SKETCH] Kerry and Clinton backstage


· Darrell as Clinton.

· Kerry always being overshadowed by Clinton.

· Darrell borrowing Clarence Clemmons' sax.

· Darrell just putting his thumb out the door to prove how much the people love him.

· Some good lines.



· Could've used some more classic one-liners from Clinton like we were expecting.


Grade: B






[WEEKEND UPDATE] Fey & Poehler, Seth Meyers & Johnny Damon, Will Forte, Diego, Sir Elton John


· Tina's Bill O'Reilly joke.

· Amy's democratic poll joke.

· Seth's bit. It's good to finally see him on Update again and the Damon cameo was nice.

· Forte's song was hilarious and I always love having him doing his usual bizarre comedy on Update.

· Tina's Kerry mask joke.

· Fred debuts another hilarious foreign character, and the film reminded me of his HBO man-on-the-street bits.



· Tina and Amy's Osama jokes.

· Amy's painting joke.

· Amy's Daylight Savings Time joke.

· I'm really starting to get bored and frustrated with the new Fey/Poehler line-up.  Amy's not working out behind the desk, and I agree with others that there needs to be some big changes made to Update.


Grade: C



[SKETCH] Kaitlin at the mall


· None.



· I can't STAND this character and I don't understand why so many people loved her the first time she appeared last season. She's annoying as hell and just a watered-down version of Amy's girl scout character from Upright Citizens Brigade.


Grade: F






[SKETCH] Goodwin Wig & Toy


· None.



· I've grown to hate this Glenda Goodwin character over time, and this sketch felt too much like a knock-off of that "attorney-at-law" sketch that she made her debut in.


Grade: F



[SKETCH] Brokaw and Russert adjust the electoral map


· The phallus joke.



· This was too dull, too slow-paced, featured almost NO laughs at all, and didn't have a good premise to begin with. In other words, your typical bad final sketch of the night.


Grade: F+ (yikes, the third "F" in a row, and the fourth one tonight overall...)




Overall Episode Grade: D


Overall Highlights:

· The Osama Tape.

· Kerry and Clinton backstage.

· The Seth Meyers, Will Forte, and Diego segments on Weekend Update.


Overall Lowlights:

· Who was the host again? Oh, yeah, Kate Winslet! It was easy to forget since she didn't make any impact on the show at all and didn't appear in many sketches.

· Monologue.

· Rap Night with Chubb Hotty.

· Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein.

· most of the Fey/Poehler portions of Weekend Update.

· Kaitlin at the mall.

· Goodwin Wig & Toy.

· Brokaw and Russert adjust the electoral map.


Best Lines:

· Seth Meyers as Osama Bin Laden / Jim Downey as translator: "The only person I see regularly is Michael Moore. And frankly, I am not sure I can believe half of what he tells me."


· Seth Meyers as Osama Bin Laden / Jim Downey as translator: "Our religion forbids us to strike a woman, although, I admit, I do it all the time, and I know I shouldn't. But if Teresa Heinz Kerry were my wife, as Allah is my witness, I would not stop beating her."


· Amy Poehler: "According to a new democratic poll released today, 50% of Vice President Cheney's daughters are still gay."


· Chris Parnell as Tom Brokaw: (examining the revised electoral map) "Now Florida looks like a semi-erect phallus."




ARMISEN: 4 sketches (Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein / Kerry and Clinton backstage / Weekend Update / Brokaw and Russert adjust the electoral map)

DRATCH: 2 sketches (Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein / Kaitlin at the mall)

FEY: 1 sketch (Weekend Update)

FORTE: 2 sketches (Kerry and Clinton backstage / Weekend Update)

HAMMOND: 2 sketches (Kerry and Clinton backstage / Brokaw and Russert adjust the electoral map)

MEYERS: 3 sketches (New Osama Tape / Kerry and Clinton backstage / Weekend Update)

PARNELL: 3 sketches (New Osama Tape / Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein / Brokaw and Russert adjust the electoral map)

POEHLER: 4 sketches (Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein / Kerry and Clinton backstage / Weekend Update / Kaitlin at the mall)

RUDOLPH: 3 sketches (Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein / Kaitlin at the mall / Goodwin Wig & Toy)

SANZ: 3 sketches (Rap Night with Chubb Hotty / Weekend Update / Kaitlin at the mall)

MITCHELL: 0 sketches 

RIGGLE: 1 sketch (Kerry and Clinton backstage)

THOMPSON: 2 sketches (Rap Night with Chubb Hotty / Kerry and Clinton backstage)


Horatio stood out the most tonight. The overall best performer was Fred. Finesse ONCE AGAIN was completely absent. Other than the Queen Latifah episode, he (to quote fellow reviewer Jay Stuler) hasn't done jack this season. And I wish Rob Riggle would stop being wasted in straight man roles and finally get to show his funny stuff.